What’s in my teen’s mind?
What’s in my teen’s mind?
I often found myself scratching my head, wondering what’s in my teen’s mind. It was so difficult for me to know, mostly I was guessing.
I’m sure I was way off the mark most of the time because nothing I did or said seemed to work. Later I began to ask myself if I was a good parent or not! Much later I realised I wasn’t!
I’m proud of many things in my life, but how I behaved as a dad isn’t one of them.
What were my beliefs?
I believed my son should behave in “my image”. I wanted the best for my son and expected him to accept my point of view and follow my lead. What I didn’t realise was that he was motivated by different things!
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Different strokes for different folks!
I didn’t know then that my preconceived ideas about what was right or wrong would affect our relationship. I can see now that it was my job to understand my son’s wants and needs, rather than expecting him to sign up to mine!
The only comfort I can draw from my own experience as a parent is that I’m sure I’m not alone!
Would I have benefitted from knowing what’s in my teen’s mind? Most certainly! But that’s not the only thing. I didn’t know myself either! I thought I did, but in reality, I didn’t.
Who are the people around us?
If I had known myself better AND understood what was in my teen’s mind, our relationship would be stronger today. I would have been a better parent too. Of that I am sure.
I’ve come to realise that my view of the world is very different from my son’s. In the early years, I was sure that “my way” was the best, but now I know that there are many different ways! If I had understood our differences back then, I would have been much better equipped to encourage him to follow “his own way”.
Opening the communication window
I’ve finally learned that it was my responsibility (as an adult) to adapt to his wants and needs, not the other way around. I didn’t know what was in my teen’s mind. However, I now understand that it was my duty to know. I’m sure I would have been a better dad if I had!
We could all benefit from knowing ourselves and our children better because it helps us to communicate more effectively.
Hindsight is great, but foresight is more helpful!
Helping our teen’s to learn about themselves and to uncover what they get passionate about has to be better approach to the one that I took.
Check out the link below. See what you could learn about your children and yourself, in fact, Mindscreen experience® could help your whole family to develop deeper connections:
https://www.mindscreen.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/01/Sample-Profile.pdf
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